crash-test-barbie

Saturday, May 30, 2009

Back in Singapore!

Wish the wweather wasn't so disgusting.

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Monday, May 25, 2009

Brillant!

Last friday, i was contemplating whether or not to recharge my phone credit (aussie number) because i was only left with a week in australia.

I recharged.

Thinking i had sufficient credit that usually lasts me a month and having only a week more to go.... i've been using my mobile excessively; sending out and replying nonsensical or (not so important) things. (including one word replys and smiley faces)

Today,

(with only a few days more to go in australia)

my line got cut.

I have been forced to use my Singapore phoneline (on roaming = bloody expensive) to make phonecalls and reply messages.......

and sending myself messages (cheap thrill) to my aussie number.... to test if i am still somewhat connected to the world.

FML.

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Saturday, May 23, 2009

If - Rudyard Kipling

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too:
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream -- and not make dreams your master;
If you can think -- and not make thoughts your aim,
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same:
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings,
And never breathe a word about your loss:
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings -- nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much:
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And -- which is more -- you'll be a Man, my son!

-- Rudyard Kipling

I don't know if my interpretation of this poem is correct or whatnot, because i gave the review section a scroll and many of the comments posted aren't in sync with my interpretation of it... but, it is what you make it to be for yourself, no?

I like this poem because, to me... it reflects values and ideologies i hold myself to. Conviction, determination, equality in mankind, risk, responsibility and ultimately...

self-reliance.

Which is what i identify to be the key theme/message of this poem.

Kipling seemingly suggests that our existence in the world, our model of reality (of the material world) is merely just an illusion.

If you can dream -- and not make dreams your master;
If you can think -- and not make thoughts your aim,

...

Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,

I think, serves to indicate how, in order to survive in this fictional reality without self-destructing..... we need to learn how to take charge and be in control of our own destiny and life -- and learn not to be overly reliant on physical (material) attachments. [which includes people or any other tangible relationship.... friends, family, lovers... symbiotic to many philosophies]

We have to learn how to adapt, to find happiness in the material things in life... but not make these things "your master"... "In so doing you will live ethically, in the present moment, harm no-one and help many, give much but ask for nothing in return and ultimately you will experience 'happiness'"

because these things perish. and you'd end up broken if that's all you build your life around, and let people..... things..... material objects define you and run your life.

I guess i could understand why i like this poem so much. It runs symbiotic to William E. Henley's "Invictus" which also has a firm grounding in self-reliance and internal strength.

Any thoughts? Conflicting views?

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Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Today is just one of those days where NOBODY should talk to me.

and maybe also, the day after today and the day after today's tomorrow would be nice.

I had my media law test today... yesterday instead of studying i slept at like 10-ish pm i think... just couldn't be bothered.

I dont know how i did. Few questions here and there didn't know how to answer. Actually i DID know how to answer. All the fucking information was in my fucking head.... but i... couldn't be bothered to think. That sounds ridiculous, but its true. Just feel so fucking brain dead.

This will be the fucking part which will bring down my Distinction to a Credit, quite sure. Unless my essay gets a HD or the tutor miraculously finds that admist all the jargon, i actually made some sense. Quite impossible.

I really should be studying for another test now but.. i just can't be bothered to do shit.

Also, the weather is too BLODDY MOTHERFUCKING COLD and i currently have on a tank, a reasonably thick hoodie AND a wool robe. WTF.

So, everytime i walk out to get something (the mirror is directly facing my door) i see my refelction and feel like a motherfucking WALRUS because i look damn huge with so many layers on. No, wait. make that a motherfucking WALRUS pregnant with 10 junior walruses k.

I just want to curl up into a ball and crash into a bloody wall.

BYE.

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Sunday, May 10, 2009

Fremantle.

----------------

Megan Fox

Jessica Stroup

Lindsay Price

Elina

Realize that i like brunettes. Dark hair, light eyes ;)

Will go gay and give up ever eating chocolate again for any one of these. hee hee

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Tuesday, May 5, 2009

X-men origins!

AWESOME! i love it. There wasn't a single dead moment in the entire movie. So annoyed because, apparently there were EXTRA scenes (as in 'aftermath' scenes) played after the credits ended; which basically shows you where Wolverine went and something about deadpool (which i shall not spoil for you people u haven't caught the show)

Hugh Jackman is so HOTTTTT. His body........ ;)

There's so many shows i wana watch now hey. Saw so many good trailers.

State of Play (Rachel McAdams =p)
Fired Up
Some Sandra Bullock show which title i've forgotten

Must find the time.

Haven't been to the gym for AGES again. Slacking off ):

I shall go tomorrow.

My PJs are so cute! <3

skypingg...

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Friday, May 1, 2009

What do you do when this is something so much bigger than yourself?

Again and again,

it invades. it conquers.

It never stops.

You think it has when everything's right... but then it creeps up against you; other times it isn't as kind and latches itself onto you when everything's perfect..sucks the life out of you... you're in a battle with yourself.

The bubble bursts and reality seeps through... that mental image in your head about how things are supposed to be... its no longer tangible. So, you force yourself to get that image back. force yourself to fight through it.

sometimes you get it back; sometimes you find your way.

but the picture - its tainted now. something's missing. what do you do?

other times, you don't get it back.

it has conquered.

there's nothing you can do except wait -- wait for something else to come along, something which will take you up on a high -- that same something which will inevitably come crashing down.

so what the fuck do you do now?

2 comments

Today, some boy in tute gave me a . . . . . . . . .

vomit jellybean

DAMN DISGUSTING. Taste exactly like throw-up.

It's this 'prank' range of jellybeans by Jelly Belly (that brand in candy empire with the red cap top).

There are other flavours, more specifically:

Vomit, Booger (nose-shit), pencil shavings, black pepper, earthworm, dirt, ear wax and grass

Apparently, the packet comes as a 50/50 split between 'good' jellybeans (usual flavors like juicy pear, toasted marshmellow...etc) and 'bad' jelly beans.

As usual, like the lucky person i always am, i had to pick pretty much one of the WORST of the 'bad' jelly beans. (should count my lucky stars i didn't like the booger hey?)

Absolutely foul!

and in tute today the tutor stirred up an extremely controversial discussion about homosexuality -- her stance leaning towards the negative --

didn't agree with most of the things she said but didn't want to say anything because my 40% essay has not yet been graded. lol.

Well, basically she said that homosexuality is wrong and should not be legalized, promoted or condoned.

I personally think ...

Yes, in the context of my religion, it IS wrong. I believe it is wrong.

BUT

Religion aside, my personal belief is that people should be free to live their lives in whatever way that want to. Some people are wired differently, and yes, some people argue that a person's sexuality could be due to a multitude of factors; peer influence, exposure to material, life experiences... etc

Which again could extend into a really really really long debate on whether it is something you are born with or something you grow into.

I really do not know. I guess its a mixture of both. At least from my POV. I do think some people are born 'gay-er' than others and life experiences and exposure to material play a part in moulding that person's sexuality.

Do i think it should be promoted or condoned?

Condoned, yes definately. Gay people should not be discriminated upon. It is a basic human right and every single individual, regardless of age, race, ethnicity, sexuality...etc should be granted that right.

Should it be promoted? This is tricky. I think the issue definately should not go unaddressed or ignored (in the media or otherwise) because it has become a significant aspect of our modern day society. So having ... let's say a gay/lesbian scene on television is essentially just potraying the realities of our society and i see no reason why it should be banned/censored.

Outright promotion, on the other hand.... i don't quite particulary agree with. Just as how gay people don't like having heterosexual people pushing their agenda's against homosexuality, i think the relative can be expected of gay people.

Should it be legalized?

I honestly am just, indifferent to the notion of legalizing gay marriage. I don't have an agenda to push for it, nor do i have one against it. I don't know -- just whatever comes. But i think, it definately should not be banned.

Thoughts?

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